Once more into the breach, my friends.....

It's 8:42 on a Saturday morning. I slept in until 8:15. I NEVER sleep in that late. I fear I may have missed my chance.

But it's time to add my contribution to the endless battle of commercialism and greed....to surf the waves of the financially elite.....armed with a crummy car and a bank account teetering on the verge on solvency......I hold my breath....

I don't know if I'll make it or not....it will be dangerous. I risk a lot by going out- I have a wife and a baby girl on the way- what happens if I don't make it back? Will they ask, was it really worth it all? Was the mission worth the price I paid?

Will my students miss me when I'm gone.....

for if I never return from my dangerous mission, what will they say? Will I have taught them ANYTHING? What about my friends? My family? Will they shed a tear?

I cannot only say that I hope they understand the importance of what I tried to do, and just how much I love them all.

For those of you reading these final words, please know that I hold you all in the highest regards.

Well, most of you. Some of you just plain suck.

And since it's too late for any of you to stop me, here is my mission, and a dangerous one it is:

I'm going to do some more Christmas shopping to find an inflatable Stewie punching bag from the Family Guy.

More later (if I return!!!)

EDITED: 10:51 pm. 12/10/05

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

My mission was a failure. I report to you as a broken, shattered shell of a man. Christmas shopping (or "Holiday" shopping according to the athiests at Wal-Mart) was torture. Sheer, unadulterated torture. The lines...the rude people....the 19,000 kids at the mall......the traffic.....the parking-spot-bloodbaths.....Oh my gosh.....I'm crying thinking about it....I'm gonna..I'm gonna go lie down now. Somebody hold my hand. Sniff, sniff...

The horror....the horror.....